Couples Therapy with My first true love . . . . Travel

This blog post is inspired by the podcast “All The Shit I’ve Learned Abroad: Travel Therapy episode 50. In this episode, the hosts, Steph and Andrea, had couples therapy with their first true love . . . . travel.

I revealed yesterday that travel is my therapy, and I’ve been finding other ways to cope while my true love and I go through a rough patch. I thought it would be fun to answer some of the questions from the show.

What about travel you had to learn to love that didn’t come instantly?

The first time I noticed someone sneaking to take a picture of me, I had dismissed it as a joke. Why would anyone take a picture of me? I’m not famous. I was at the Louvre in Paris, and I was sitting in the lobby. A woman who also looked like a tourist sat next to me. We looked at each other, and I nodded, and she nodded, and as quickly as she sat down, she left. I watched her walk away and join a man on the other side of the room, holding a camera.

When I told my friend about it who had traveled to more countries than me what had happened, she said to me that they might have taken a picture of me. I asked her why they would do that. She said that some people are not used to seeing a black person. Growing up in the US, I never expected that to happen to me.

The more foreign countries I visited, it became more apparent that people were taking pictures of me because I was black.

When I went to India, I started stopping and posing with people for pictures. Sometimes it bothers me. I wish they would ask. I imagine them taking the photos home and showing to their friends and family laughing at me.

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Today’s post was inspired by the podcast @shitabroadpod episode 50. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙞𝙙𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The first time I noticed someone sneaking to take a picture of me, I had dismissed it as a joke. Why would anyone take a picture of me? I'm not famous. I was at the Louvre in Paris, and I was sitting in the lobby. A woman who also looked like a tourist sat next to me. We looked at each other, and I nodded, and she nodded, and as quickly as she sat down, she left. I watched her walk away and join a man on the other side of the room, holding a camera. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I told my friend about it who had traveled to more countries than me what had happened, she said to me that they might have taken a picture of me. I asked her why they would do that. She said that some people are not used to seeing a black person or blonds. Growing up in the US, I never expected that to happen to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The more foreign countries I visited, it became more apparent that people were taking pictures of me because I was black. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I went to India, I would stop and pose with people who wanted a photo. If they are going to do it anyway, at least let me smile. Sometimes it bothers me. I wish they would ask. I imagine them taking the photos home and showing to their friends and family laughing at me. Lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The photo was taken in Agra of the Taj Mahal with @photoenrichment.

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What is the one thing you would change about traveling?

Although I have a US Passport that allows me to travel to almost any country in the world, I would make the rules the same in every country. Several countries offer visas on arrival. Some have an online option. It would be easier if the requirements were the same, and everyone would be charged one fee.

What is one thing you’ve done while traveling that you haven’t told anyone about?

I probably have shared with the online community more than I should. I can’t think of anything that I have done that no one knows happened. The only thing that comes to mind is I cried a couple of times while I was standing alone in Instanbul. I know it probably made me look vulnerable, but everything had gone wrong.

The last time I had cried, I was dropped off at a building by a bus driver who didn’t speak English. The travel agent I used had talked to him in Turkish and told him where to take me, but no one told me. So when I arrived at an office, and it was closed, I stood there and cried. I didn’t know how to get back to my hostel. I felt defeated and was ready to go home. Luckily, the agent came, and I continued with my trip. My trip to Turkey is still one of my favorite experiences.

What do you miss most about traveling?

  • I miss going to the airport and the excitement I feel when the plane takes off.
  • I miss landing in a new city.
  • I miss eating new foods.
  • I miss seeing buildings that I had only see in magazines and online.

Does your travel partner hold grudges or forgives easily?

I travel alone most of the time, so I am my travel partner. I’m going to say I don’t hold grudges, and I forgive easily. I wouldn’t want to ruin my vacation.

What is a travel word or phrase you can’t stand?

I hate when people say they didn’t visit the touristy are. That they took the “off the beaten path.” I know some places are so crowded that you almost can’t enjoy it. When I went to the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City, I couldn’t believe how crowded it was. If we hadn’t prepared for tickets and hired a guide, it would have taken us at least three hours to see the infamous paintings.

How do you handle when your family or friends don’t agree with the travel decisions you made?

For a long time, I didn’t tell anyone but my mother what country I was going to be in until the week I was going. I had to tell her because she was staying with the girls and the dog while I was gone. Even if she didn’t agree, she pretended to be ok with it because she knew I was going to go anyway.

Only one time that I can remember a friend asked me not to go to a country. I may have been in Thailand one time when a temple was bombed. I had a few misses of natural disasters and riots. If anything,g I seem like a jinx. But that is part of the adventure.

One thing people don’t realize is that by the time I tell them I am going on a trip, I already made the majority of the arrangements and paid for at least 80% cost. Most of the fees are nonrefundable, and travel insurance doesn’t cover being scared to go.

I would be lying if I said that I never get scared or nervous while traveling to a foreign country. I know that my family and friends want me to be safe. Before I leave US soil, I do a lot of research on a destination. I always make sure that I leave a copy of my itinerary with someone. Most recently I have started registering my trip with the US Embassy.

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Today's post is also inspired by episode 50 of @shitabroadpod titled Travel Therapy. In this episode, the hosts, Steph and Andrea, had couples therapy with their first true love….travel. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Today's question is: 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙖𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For a long time, I didn't tell anyone but my mother what country I was going to be in until the week I was going. I had to say to her because she was staying with the girls and the dog while I was gone. Even if she didn't agree, she pretended to be ok with it because she knew I was going to go anyway. I always made sure to call her daily. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Only one time that I can remember a friend asked me not to go to a country. I may have been in Thailand one time when a temple was bombed. I had a few misses of natural disasters and riots. If anything,g I seem like a jinx. But that is part of the adventure. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ One thing people don't realize is that by the time I tell them I am going on a trip, I already made the majority of the arrangements and paid for at least 80% cost. Most of the fees are nonrefundable, and travel insurance doesn't cover being scared to go. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am not saying that I don't ever get scared or nervous about traveling alone to a foreign country. I do realize that my family and friends want me to be safe. I do my research, and I leave a copy of my itinerary with someone. I've started registering with the US Embassy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙨? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Today is Cinco De Mayo. The photo was taken in Holbox, Mexico.

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What is a silly travel habit you have that people don’t know about?

I don’t usually wear t-shirts outside of the house in my personal life. But when I fly, I almost always wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt. Along with prayers, I feel like I am guaranteed to have a safe flight if I have on a Wonder Woman shirt. So far, so good and why tempt fate. 😊

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Today's post is inspired by episode 50 of @shitabroadpod titled Travel Therapy. In this episode, the hosts, Steph and Andrea, had couples therapy with their first true love….travel. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I revealed yesterday that travel is my therapy, and I've been finding other ways to cope while my true love and I go through a rough patch. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I thought it would be fun this week to answer some of the questions from the show and read your answers. I'm going to put all of mine a blog post later this week. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The first question is, ”𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩?” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I don't usually wear t-shirts outside of the house in my personal life. But when I fly, I almost always wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt. Along with prayers, I feel like I am guaranteed to have a safe flight if I have on a Wonder Woman shirt. So far, so good and why tempt fate. 😊 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I like buying t-shirts at almost every destination I visit. I use to give them as souvenirs, but it got too expensive. So only special people will get one. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Your turn. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡 𝙝𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙩?

A post shared by Bisa Myles 🗺 Myles to Travel (@mylestotravel) on

How has travel changed you?

Travel has changed me in many ways. I have become more patient with myself and others. After spending hours waiting in lines at security you to get to the gate to get on the plane. Travel has pushed me to do things outside of my comfort zone. I use to be very shy when I was younger. I can talk to strangers easily almost everywhere I go.

Leave a comment and let me know your answer to any of the questions.

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